Fifty Flavors of McDonaldland
by McFury
Summary: This story is like any typical erotic, yaoi-like fanfiction. What's the catch? -It's with Grimace, the lovable purple buddy from McDonaldland, and Ronald McDonald, and their closeted romantic affairs, regardless of other residents of McDonaldland. Unless you want something to make you hurl, I recommend not reading this, fair and simple. Read at your OWN RISK!


**50 Flavors of McDonaldland**

As Grimace gazed out into the window, he saw the same old thing. The same old Hamburger Patches, the same French Fry Bushes, even the same Filet O' Fish Lake, which he's always loved. But most of all, there was the same Birdie he has been with for two years. Grimace was tired of her- although he knew in his heart she needs him. He's ready for a change. He wants it here and he wants it now.

For a start, Grimace doesn't even know if he's attracted to her. He sees Ronald outside everyday talking to the Apple Pie Trees and McNugget Buddies and is in awe of Ronald's tall and lean stature. Grimace would hate to admit it, but it makes him hard. He starts to heat up and his palms get real sweaty and eventually he sweats all over, so he heads downstairs for a McChicken sandwich or two, or three…or, you know, thirty nine.

Second, Grimace is beginning to be afraid of Birdie. She is always at the dojo training for her black belt. Her sensei thinks highly of her, considering she kicked his sorry ass a handful of times. Grimace just couldn't imagine what she can do to him and his thousand stretch marks. Lastly, Grimace thinks he'd be better off with someone as charismatic as Ronald, and hopefully, Ronald will like him too. For today, Grimace is ready to step it up!

As Grimace carefully sneaks out of bed, he makes sure not a single sound is made. Birdie decided to sleep in today, so he knew today was perfect to tell Ronald how he felt, who he also mentally calls Ronald McHotass. He walks out the door to find Ronald right there, about to ring the McDoorbell, which Birdie wanted way back six months ago.

"Aahh!" Grimace exclaims, quickly short of breath. "Um, I'm really sorry McHota- I mean, Ronald." Ronald laughs a rather gentle laughter, and looks straight into Grimace's plum-colored eyes. "You're really nervous, aren't you?" Grimace's face beams red, and he grows silent. "It's okay to be nervous sometimes. Besides, nobody here in McDonaldland is perfect." Grimace's face glowed more, as he closed the door gently. He bashfully thought of Ronald McHotass in ways he had never imagined up until now: mentally and physically. "Mm…McYummy." He began to drool.

Unfortunately, the door hadn't quite closed. Politely, Ronald knocked on the door. Reluctantly, Grimace muttered, opening it again: "What do you want now?" Ronald smiled brightly. "Do you want to come down by the Apple Pie Trees for a picnic? I've got countless supplies of Big Macs to bring. I've also got a McHotdog to give you…bring your darling McBuns." Grimace was very flattered, his cheeks turned cherry red and his big, fat purple-haired McHotdog stuck right up. Ronald makes a seductive face. "You like that, don't you Grimace…come with me, you Grim-Nasty boy." Ronald took Grimace's hand and walked down the road. Grimace and Ronald were both very pleased with themselves, as Ronald carried the picnic basket.

Finally, they made it, and the wind blew hard, like what Grimace dreamed of happening to him by Ronald McHotass. He and Ronald sat down, and Ronald placed the picnic basket down. Grimace eagerly observed Ronald's fine, long legs and crotch, which was now hard too. Grimace was relieved. He no longer felt like a deviant in the land of McDonaldland.

When Ronald got up, he turned around to Grimace, who now was sweaty and asked in a deep, growling voice: "Do you wanna see my McHotdog?" Grimace nodded without a sound made. Blushing, Ronald unzipped his tight, bondage-like outfit. "Prepare your McBuns. Bend over, bad boy." Grimace smiled shyly, doing exactly as McHotass tells him. Ronald's dick is already wet, and is very big, about nine inches long, the pubes are red and wild and curly. Grimace looks back briefly, amazed by Ronald's sex appeal. (Or should we say meal) He penetrates Grimace. As Ronald groans, he works it harder, and fucks Grimace as hard as he can. Grimace lets out a gentle yelp, and Ronald McHotass giggles at his reaction, like the clown he is. McHotass eventually begins to sweat more and more, melting away a small amount of his face paint. Grimace's back starts to hurt, so he begins to jerk off the head of his six and a half inch dick for comfort. "Mmm…" Grimace quietly utters to himself. As his fat junk begins to cum, Ronald goes faster than ever before, making the both of them very, very horny.

Out of the blue Grimace then shouts "Yeah, oh yes…" Something a guy like him usually would keep to himself. At this, Ronald grins, glad he is pleasing Grimace, such a kind person. Every last six hundred pounds of him. Ronald continues to viciously hump Grimace's ass until he gets exhausted…too exhausted. Ronald begins to orgasm and breathes deeply over Grimace. He rests his head and shoulders on Grimace's mountainous back, gripping a hold of Grim-Nasty's hips and slowly sliding his hands lower and lower until he grasps Grim-Nasty's chubby-Seal-like boner. McHotass lightly rides his hands over Grimace's McEggplant. "Be careful," The gentle giant moans. Grimace can feel Ronald's heart beating and his perspiration-drenched chest on top of him. As this happened, he began to feel it himself. Ronald and Grimace stayed there, perfectly still for a while, trying to appreciate how sexy it felt, but didn't look.

After all of this, Ronald was still crazy horny, along with Grimace, who just wanted to fuck some McBuns as hard as he wanted for a change: both of them didn't know they were still up to it if asked. To avoid being awkward, Ronald McDonald zipped his tight, now drenched in McSexy sweat bondage one piece back on, as Grimace got up again as he was before. He realized then that he had just cheated on Birdie, sweet, sweet, innocent Birdie. Grimace began to feel ashamed that his first sexual experience was with a nine inch clown-human man. This made him give Ronald the cold shoulder. Ronald wispily taps Grimace's mountainous back, wearing his gloves like before all of this. "Hey Grimace," He says, whispering. Grimace didn't respond. "That was incredible, I'm still shaken," Ronald said, knowing Grimace isn't doing okay. Aware of his silence, McDonald handed him a Big Mac from the picnic basket, which was beside the Apple Pie Trees. To this, Grimace meekly comments "Thanks" and wolfed down the Big Mac he was given. Grimace wipes his sweaty face with his less sticky hands-despite where he touched himself last.

"It's just…" Grimace began. "I didn't expect this to be my first time, with you, and here…I am very flattered and all, but I'm worried what Birdie will think…" Ronald stirs up a mighty roar of laughter. "Birdie? She's so laid back. I bet she'll understand," Ronald grins cheek to cheek. "Grim-Nasty." "Besides," Ronald adds. "I'm surprised this was your first time. You really know how to make me horny." Ronald smiles repeatedly, getting some french fries from his nicely woven McBasket.

Grimace spoke up, adruptedly, after devouring about fifteen Big Macs over the last six seconds. "Wait…this wasn't **YOUR **first time?" Grimace began to feel heat rising from his purple wrinkly forehead. McHotass felt his stomach twist on the inside and he began to shake for once himself. His stomach was blended like a McFlurry. "Uh, no it wasn't…but that doesn't make it…not good. That was the best," McHotass responds in attempt to calm Grimace. That backfires quickly. "Well then…" Grimace raises his voice and crosses his arms. "**Who did you fuck before?**"

Unexpectedly, McDonald shows an expression of mirth. He sighs, but tells Grimace anyways. "The McNugget Buddies. They weren't as nice as you, though. Actually as a matter of fact, they were very aggressive." McHotass cops a feel with Grimace as he sets down the now empty McBasket. Grimace howls. "Damn boy… that is sick, but I like it. C-could you do me a favor, McHotass?" Instantly, Ronald gets butt-naked, but in a way that is seductive to Grimace, and only Grimace. "I'll do what you want," McHotass growls, laying down by the Apple Pie Trees, completely stripped. Grimace gets on his floppy knees facing McHotass, who he now thinks is very McSexy. His McMuffin top buldges over McHotass's pale, crimson-haired chest. Grimace licks his lips. "Suck my dick!" Quickly, McHotass wraps his arms around Grim-Nasty's McMuffin top hips and wraps his red lipstick lips around Grimace's six and a half inch McSeal. "Oh…" Grimace starts. "Yeah!" He stands up as McHotass gets to his knees. McHotass stops for just a moment. "Ya like that GRIM?!" "Hell yes," Grimace confidently answers, now smiling with all of his cavities showing brightly. (Or not so brightly, you decide) Grim-Nasty's McMushroom head is now directly in Ronald's mouth, spewing semen like crazy. As if this isn't awesome enough for Grimace as it is, McHotass's hands begin to get closer to Grimace's McHotdog, eventually having him fondle Grimace while sucking his McSeal. "Yes! More!" Grimace shouts. He's so glad nobody's around for miles, they can do whatever they please together. As Ronald then groped Grim-Nasty's purple, saggy, hairy balls, Grimace noticed how much his legs (and dick) were shaking…he is quite in shock. "Stop shaking Grimace," Ronald mumbles, continuing to make the purple guy's dreams come true.

He slows down a little. Then a lot. Then completely. "Ronald…?" Grimace curiously asks, beginning to orgasm. "Are…you okay…" Both of them lay down on top of each other, Grimace's greasy body covering sweaty McHotass's. "Uunng…" They moan together, holding hands: Ronald's large bony hands with Grimace's fatty purple ones.

Hours later, they wake up. An infuriated female bird is staring back at them. Grimace, mortified, reaches for McDonald's hand. It is in a separate bed with Ronald fast asleep, or passed out. Or McDead. "You two should be lucky I saved you." Birdie calmly states. "The Hamburglar was trying to give you two his…" She begins to whimper a little as she continues. "McHotdog." "Frankly, Grimace," She speaks up, much louder than before. "I didn't know how you felt about Ronald before now. I thought you were ogling over the Apple Pie Trees. I know how you love to eat." She glances away for a moment, her shoulders moving more than the normal breath would cause.

She looks back, in deep tears. Grimace's face turns white, and he is as still as a portrait. He has a flashback of all he's done with her, the happy memories. Is it the end? Did I just blow it all? He thinks with a monotone, mellow sorrowness. Ronald wakes up, and is visibly concerned. She starts to walk closer until she eventually glomps him, her face covered with tears. "I didn't think it would end this way…I thought you loved me too…" Grimace hugs her, his warm purple hands rubbing her frigid, shaky back.

"It'll be alright," Grimace said, gazing back at Ronald. He is peering through the window that Grimace once did until it all changed today. "I just need to know," He mumbled. "Are you okay with being alone?" Birdie paused. She clearly was hurt by what they've gone and done together, but she, at the same time, also knows that Grimace and her obviously now were not made for each other. But perhaps, they were for the two of them?

She finally answers. "Yeah, I don't have a problem with it. You too should just be happy." She thinks of who she would want to hook up with. She likes the Hamburglar, who she knows is Bi- but she's still mad at him for "the incident" yesterday when she had to go ninja on his McBooty. But Birdie also remembers her vicious one-night stand with the McNugget Buddies. Damn, she thinks. They really know how to tickle the clit…

She turns back. Ronald and Grimace are holding hands, talking about their fantastic experience. Birdie is glad she is calm now. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door. It is unauditable though, but then the doorbell rings. The McDoorbell. She runs downstairs to answer it.

"The McNugget Buddies!" She exclaims, excited. "Come on in!" They are holding flowers for her (Just barely) and came up the stairs, with Birdie's consent. "Let's have a McOrgy party!" She thinks briefly, knowing this could take a terrible situation and make it into a decent one. "Alright, " She said, gesturing them to go into the bedroom where Grimace and McHotass are. She hears Grimace muttering to McSexy, "I guess the McRib is back." Birdie opens the door. McDonald is on top of Grim-Nasty, who is feeling up McSexy's McRibs.

And so it all starts over- Grim-Nasty and McHotass make some McLovin' while the McNugget Buddies have some hardcore McForeplay with Birdie but eventually screw her deep bird pussy and fondle her McChicken breasts while taking turns sticking their McHotdogs in her everywhere possible.

In general, I hope you've learnt a thing or two about McDonaldland…and to put it bluntly, the residents there really like sex. A lot. This is one of the many reasons I myself prefer Burger King. I mean, just why is Birdie, a bird, friends with her Uncles' carcass, the McNugget Buddies? I mean, what the hell?

I think you get my point, farewell everyone.

(An extra thanks to all of the people who helped with the ideas too, I know this is a strange way of saying it, but I appreciate the creativity. I just don't want to put you out in spot.)


End file.
